Idiots Write About Sports

So we were having an argument here in world TeeVee headquarters about who was performing live and who wasn’t at this year’s Super Bowl halftime extravaganza. The consensus is that No Doubt and Sting were probably singing live — or at least lip synching along to versions of their numbers they recorded as recently as yesterday’s dress rehersal. Shania Twain? Milli Vanilli-action all the way. Though many of us admire her bold decision to dress up as some sort of inter-galactical space whore come to study our planet’s primative sex technology.

One way to resolve these arguments in the future would be to require the halftime performers to shout out the score during their musical numbers. Maybe even change around some of the lyrics to reflect first-half action.

Just a castaway
Like the Raiders’ game plan
No touchdowns there
Just a field goal

More three-and-outs
Than Al Davis can bear
Rescue Rich Gannon ‘fore he falls into despair

See. That took me like 15 seconds to whip up. And I’m half in the bag.