Idiots Write About Sports

Great game last night. Perez versus Schmidt, and despite being a tad shaky at first, Schmidt appears to be the same guy he was last year: dominant. Problem is, Perez was even more dominant.

However, the laugh of the night came in the 9th. Yeah, Barry Bonds clobbered a fastball from Eric Gagne and hit it to the deepest part of XYZ Park for a meaningless two-run homer. But the real funny one was the pitch from Gagne measured at 101 mph on the stadium gun, thrown up and in to Bonds. Bonds clobbered it — an inside pitch at 101 mph! — and pulled it, impossibly high and far, into McCovey Cove, but foul.

Superman has fast reflexes. And Gagne continues his save streak, despite serving up a massive homer. That’s what insurance runs are good for, after all.

As for me, I spent the game assembling a heavy TV stand made by Danes. But my gigantic wide-screen TV now has some place to live that isn’t my coffee table.

(By the way, I caught a few innings of the Sox-Yanks game on Fox that Phil wrote about. I expected Scooter the talking baseball to be kind of goofy-looking. But no, he’s all computer-animated and funky-fresh. In other words, Scooter is Poochie.)