Idiots Write About Sports

The MLB Extra Innings curse continues, as, for the fifth consecutive Oakland-New York game in a row, we’re getting the YES feed. And you know what that means?

More Ken Singleton Fun Facts!

Tonight, the AFLAC trivia question was to name the four other Oakland Athletics pitchers besides starter Barry Zito who won the Cy Young Award. (The answer, in chronological order: Vida Blue, Catfish Hunter, Bob Welch and Dennis Ecksersley. Impress friends at your next gathering or civil ceremony!) That got My Main Man Ken rhapsodizing about the fine Yankee tradition of stealing Oakland talent. From Ken’s lips to your computer monitor, here’s Ken’s well-nigh brilliant observation about Jim Hunter:

I think Catfish Hunter was the Yankees’ first big free-agent signing.

Why, yes, Ken. I suppose that’s correct. Considering that Catfish Hunter was the first free-agent in baseball history. This is sort of like saying, “You know, I think George Washington may have been our first President,” or “If I’m not mistaken, Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon” and acting like you’re enlightening people with your knowledge.

(Here’s what Singleton could have said if he wanted to enlighten people, all quick and dirty-like: Hunter’s contract called for $50,000 of his 1974 pay deferred and put into a 10-year annuity over the course of the season. Miserable A’s owner Charles Finley, discovering that the $50,000 wasn’t tax deductible, never made the payment. Hunter played out the season and filed a grievance. In perhaps the most open-and-shut salary arbitration case in history, Peter Seitz ruled that Oakland had violated the terms of the contract and declared Hunter a free agent. A year later, the Messersmith ruling came down, and free agency was born. If you’d like to learn more about the history of baseball free agency, visit your local library where you can check out books like John Helyar’s excellent Lords of the Realm.)

It’s a good night for Ken Macha, no matter the outcome of the game. For one evening, at least, he’s not the dimmest guy named Ken in the Coliseum.

[Update: As I typed this, I realized that tonight’s game is on ESPN2, which would have spared me a glimpse into the madness of Ken Singleton’s mind. But I’m paying $149 for MLB Extra Innings, and if that means having to endure YES broadcasts, then endure I shall.]

I wouldn't flip it to ESPN- Joe Morgan's doing the color.

You know I used to really enjoy Joe Morgan. Then, a couple of years ago, he really contracted a case of Old Man Disease -- "Things were better in my day! You whippersnappers, cut out that talk about on-base percentage! GET OFF MY LAWN!" -- which seems to get progressively worse each year. So, yes -- I'm sticking with YES.

Not quite right - it's like saying "I think George Washington was the first Virginian to be President" or "Neil Armstrong was the first man whose name begins with an 'N' to walk on the moon" - Singleton is still a moron though.

Aw -- you're right! You are far more clever than I am.

I can only take comfort in the fact that I am for more clever than Ken Singleton is.