Idiots Write About Sports

When you’re watching a double-extra-inning doubleheader, use 21st-century technology as a viewing aid. Record both games. Don’t start watching the first game until the evening, when the second game is already underway. Use your TiVo’s fastest fast-forward speed (60x, or a minute per second) to zip through all the innings where there’s no scoring.

Stop and watch the interesting rallies, and marvel at the homers by Bonds and Palmiero. Grimace at Jim Palmer, who appears to be one of those announcers who doesn’t do any homework. Be impressed by the finesse with which the Giants bullpen got out of several insane jams without giving up any runs.

Then it’s on to the nightcap, a blur of TiVo fast-forward images: two-run lead, tied. Two-run lead, Fonzie boots the ball, tied.

Then something crazy happens. At 9:30 at night — Pacific time! — your TiVo drops out of fast-forward mode. You eventually find out the cause: you’ve caught up with live TV! Which leaves you to watch the three final, crazy innings of the day’s 23 innings live. Hey! There’s Matt Herges, who was just closing up the opening game an hour or two ago, TiVo time. And the game is over. 23 innings, all for break-even. How disspiriting.

I think if I had to watch all 23 innings at regular speed, I would have pulled all my hair out. Thanks to my best baseball pal ever, Mr. TiVo, I was only mildly disturbed.

Other TiVo Tips - 30 sec foul ball Jump - you have to set the jump ahead button to 30 sec from its normal jump to the end of the program setting(Its a simple select-play-select TiVo hack done with the remote and is described on the TiVo user websites). When a batter fouls off a pitch, hit the jump-ahead button. 99% of the time, the pitcher is just stating his windup for the next pitch. All you have missed is the dead time of pitcher getting a new ball, rubbing it up and the batter getting re-set. Try it, you'll be amazed how it seems to always take right at 30 sec.

Tip 2 - When watching a game with TiVo, just start watching an hour after the scheduled start time of the first pitch. By FF'ing the commercials and pitching changes and using the foul ball jump ahead mentioneed above, you'll catch the live telecast in about the 8th inning of most games. You can watch a three hour game in two hours, miss nothing, and you only have to stay away from other media sources for that first hour of recording to not know what is going to happen.

I know - I watch way to many baseball games on TV.

Thanks, Dave. I agree -- TiVo has made me much more of a game-watcher than I used to be. I think I watched every single televised Giants game last season. That's never happened before, just because of day games (gotta work) and the sheer lack of time to plop down and watch three or four hours of baseball.

With TiVo, though -- I'm wastin' time like never before! :-)