Idiots Write About Sports

I have the A’s-Angels game on this afternoon — shhhhh, don’t tell the boss — and since I’m back in Los Angeles, I’m being treated to the very deep thoughts of Angels broadcasters Steve Physioc and Rex Hudler.

Here’s the situation: Eric Byrnes led off the bottom of the first with a walk. Bobby Kielty followed with a single to left. For those of you scoring at home, that’s runners on first and second with nobody out and the No. 3 hitter Scott Hatteberg due up.

Which is when Hudler gives us this gem: “The A’s don’t attempt a lot of sacrifice bunts.”

Now to be fair, Hudler wasn’t suggesting that the A’s should bunt in this situation nor was he criticizing Oakland’s philosophical objections to giving up outs. But he was saying that in the current situation — two on, nobody out, bottom of the first, and the heart of the lineup due up — a bunt was certainly a viable strategic consideration.

Here’s why that’s insane:

• With 27 outs still to give up in the ballgame, it’s perhaps a little bit early to be playing for one run.

• At the time of Hatteberg’s at bat, he was hitting .403 with runners in scoring position (trailing only Ivan Rodriguez) — which perhaps makes him not the best choice for sacrificing himself.

• As Hudler uttered his inanity about bunting, Angels pitcher Jarrod Washburn had thrown nine pitches, only two of them for strikes. You might want to make him earn that first out, Hud.

That the A’s failed to score in the inning is beside the point (Hatteberg hit a nice liner to left that, unfortunately, went right at Jose Guillen, Dye walked, and Crosby grounded into a douple play). Whether the A’s scored zero runs or a zillion, a bunt in that situation is just about the worst strategic decision you could make.

Since I now see most of my A’s game through MLB Extra Innings, I’ve gotten used to out-of-town announcers blaming Oakland’s reluctance to bunt on everything from the team’s inability to advance in the playoffs to the destruction of baseball as we know it. I don’t like it, but I’ve come to terms with it. But I’m never going to come to terms with some chucklehead announcer suggesting that the A’s — or any team, for that matter — consider bunting with nobody out, runners on, and the No. 3 hitter at the plate.

Who wants to take up a collection for buying Rex Hudler a premium subscription to Baseball Prospectus so that he can read James Click’s series on when it makes sense to bunt? Of course, I suppose we’d then have to hire someone to help Hud sound out the difficult words, so maybe we just better save our pennies and hit the mute button whenever he starts talking.

[Update: And as if to further mock Rex, Scott Hatteberg leads off the sixth inning by bunting his way onto first. Oh, we could give up an out, Rex — we simply choose not to.]

We are, of course, talking about the same Rex Hudler who got caught trying to smuggle his stash through airport security. So there's a good chance he wanted Hatteberg to bunt because he just thought it would be kinda funny.