Idiots Write About Sports

So Phil wonders:

I’d be a lot more interested in an article that actually played out the remainder of the 1994 season and the playoffs and reported on what happened. I’m sure that somebody somewhere has done this — I just can’t seem to find a link to it.

And Phil answers: Well, look here at WhatIfSports.com. Dumbass.

Yes, WhatIfSports.com played out the ‘94 season. Their findings?

• Nobody beats Roger Maris’ single-season home-run record, though Ken Griffey Jr. does match it.

• Tony Gwynn finishes with a .396 batting average.

• Frank Thomas just misses winning a triple crown.

• The playoff teams remain the same, except for the National League Wildcard, which goes to Cincinnati after Houston slips ahead to win the NL Central.

• And your 1994 World Champions? The Montreal Expos, mon frere.

How did I discover WhatIfSports.com’s little experiment? By going there to play out my own postseason, of course, using the teams that would have made the playoffs as of the August 12 strike date. My 1994 World Champion? The wildcard Atlanta Braves, who defeated the New York Yankees in a seven-game series. Proving once again the old adage: no team with Randy Velarde on its roster will ever win a World Championship.

[Edited to reflect that I originally misread which team won the NL wildcard slot. Because I’m really, really dumb.]