Idiots Write About Sports

… and boy are my arms tired.

Over-used Henny Youngman jokes aside, I’ve been traipsing about the Garden Island for the past week, which explains why my contributions to the Idiots Weblog have been nil. (Normally, the explanation is the much more simple “pure laziness.”)

Unlike the recent jaunt out to Baltimore/Washington, there’s not much sporting action to report on from this trip. No visits to baseball games of either the major or minor league variety. The Hawaii Islanders of the Pacific Coast League departed the Aloha State in 1987. The only game in town these days is the University of Hawaii — and it’s quite a big deal. Each night we were on Kauai, one of the local channels featured prime-time coverage of the Mauna Loa Macadamia Nut Volleyball Challenge, a women’s volleyball tournament featuring UCLA, Santa Clara, Southwest Missouri State and, of course, the home team.

The one baseball item of note — besides the fact that night games played in the Pacific Time Zone start at about 4 p.m. local time — came on Saturday night, when I was packing for the flight home with the 10 p.m. news from the local Fox affiliate turned on as background noise. The weekend sports anchor — didn’t catch his name, I’m afraid — kicked off his report on the day’s baseball scores by noting that the playoffs were approaching when (and I’m paraphrasing here) “players prove themselves to be Mr. October like Reggie Jackson or Mr. Flop-tober-like Barry Bonds.”

I assume word of the 2002 post-season has not yet reached the shores of Hawaii (or, at the very least, the sports at KHON-TV), but here are Barry Bonds’ batting, on-base, and slugging percentages along with homers and RBIs for the three rounds of the playoffs:

NLDS: .294/.429/.824 3HR, 4 RBI
NLCS: .273/.619/.727 1HR, 6 RBI
World Series:.471/.700/1.294 4HR, 6 RBI

Those are the numbers of a Mr. Floptober? If Robb Nen holds the lead in Game Six, then Bonds has a World Series ring and a World Series MVP award (assuming it wouldn’t wind up with Russ Ortiz) in his possession.

Yeah, I know, up until 2002, Bonds’ postseason accomplishments could be summed up in one word (“nada”). But once you slug 1.294 in a seven-game series with the world championship on the line, you are officially able to shed the postseason choker label. Anyone who insists otherwise either isn’t paying attention or, if they’re employed in any news-reporting capacity, just isn’t very good at their job.

You're right to defend Bonds against that fact-deficient newscaster, but you engage in some fact-deficiency yourself when you say "if Robb nen had held the lead in Game Six". Nen TECHNICALLY got saddled with a blown save in that game, but only through the tremendous inadequency of the MLB save rules.

When Nen entered the game the situation was this: Giants leading 5-4, Angels on second and third, nobody out and red hot eventual Series MVP Troy Glaus at the plate. He would've gotten a BS if he had given up a FLY BALL. Two flies and the Angels still would've won 6-5. He gave up ONE HIT, didn't give up any of his own runs. Oh yeah, and he was pitching with a torn Labrum he'd had throughout the playoffs, despite numerous clutch saves, including the clincher at Atlanta, and two in the Series (an injury which will likely end his career).

If you want to blame the blown 5-0 lead on anybody, Felix (HR to Spezio), Worrell (3 ER in 8th), and Dusty (taking out Ortiz with a 4-hit shutout in the 7th) are a good place to start.

It's right there in your resume: "Idiots" and "teevee." Ninety-nine percent of TV sports broadcasters are idiots.

Josh from Hollywood -- you're absolutely right. In my haste to finish off a Weblog post on company time, I failed to name the multiple Giants who contributed to the Game Six defeat. (And lest we not forget, Livan Hernandez's fine contribution in Game Seven.)

My only defense is that I'm a moron.

Phil -- Moron, huh? I think you're being a little harsh on yourself, but judging by the title of the site, maybe you're just keeping it real.

Yes, there are many goats (Felix is my favorite to pin the blame on), but I hate to see Nen get the blame.

Still, you're point is well taken -- there are probably a lot of Bonds haters out there still grasping tightly to the "he can't win the big one" schtick.

As a Giants fan, I'd love to correct Phil's detailed account of game six (which as we all know was the first of two exhibition games played to cheer up the distraught Anaheim fans after their team lost the five-game World Series, three games to two.).

However, I have blotted all memories of that series from my mind. One day, when the pain is not so great (perhaps in 2030 or so), maybe I will dare to remember. But for now, sweet oblivion...

Post a comment