Idiots Write About Sports

All right, kids, it’s time to play the exciting new game… Count the Fake Quote Columns Written by Jim Caple.

[Count von Count voice]One… one fake quote column! Two… two fake quote columns! Ah, ah ah![/Count von Count voice]

Seriously, Jim… that’s, like, four Fake Quote columns in less than a week. Have you simply decided to stop trying? I mean, I realize it’s easier to just write pretend things, but you owe it to your fan to at least mix it up a little. Throw in a “Moises Alou pees on his hands” joke… just to keep us on our toes.

David Wells is Fat! — 6
Fake Quote columns — 5
“I Hate the Yankees” references — 4
Steve Bartman references — 3
Grady Little references — 2
References to the Oakland Athletics’ poor fundamentals — 2
Derisive references to Alex Rodriguez as “Cap’n” — 1
Derisive references to Tom Hicks — 1

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