Yes, it’s another one of Jim Caple’s Fake Quote columns. And yes, it’s painfully unfunny. And yes, we’re as tired of chronicling Jim Caple’s Lou Gehrig-like string of consecutive Fake Quote columns as you are of reading about them. But we took a sacred oath to keep an accurate count for the Hack-O-Meter, and so chronicle them we must.
David Wells is Fat! — 6
Fake Quote columns — 6
“I Hate the Yankees” references — 4
Steve Bartman references — 3
Grady Little references — 2
References to the Oakland Athletics’ poor fundamentals — 2
Derisive references to Alex Rodriguez as “Cap’n” — 1
Derisive references to Tom Hicks — 1
But really, the most chilling part of today’s installment in the Creatively Bereft Follies comes right at the beginning:
Editor’s note: Former Red Sox manager and ex-Yankees bench coach Don Zimmer is providing Page 2 with daily scouting reports and analysis of the American League Championship Series between New York and Boston …
Daily? Oh, that’ll be fun. I smell a new recurring feature at Page Two!
No — I really can smell it. Could somebody get me a can of air freshner or something?
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Hack Alert: You seem to be right about the Zimmer crap.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=caple/041015
If ever there was a reason to root for a Yankee sweep in the ALCS this weekend, it's to ensure that Caple's idiotic Zimmer running joke ends immediately instead of extending into next week.
I'll have more to say on this later.
Oh, who's to say he won't still try to trot him out during the World Series?
Well, looked at the archive on the right side of Caple's latest Zimmer garbage, and it appears we're a bit behind.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=caple/041018
You can clearly see that he's already on Zimmer column number six. I think his tactic is to overload the Hack-o-Meter and more or less break it.