Idiots Write About Sports

I am thrilled that the Red Sox — the Idiots! — have won the World Series.

I’d tell you why I’m extra happy that they’ve won, namely that it means we won’t have to hear about the long-suffering Cursed Sox ever again. But Phil has already done that. So I might as well second his thoughts. Enjoy the win, Sox fans, and then toss away all that overwrought poetry about how bad your lot is.

Meanwhile, we Giants fans will light another candle.

I woke up this morning hoping that the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy would finally be forced to retire his "overwrought poetry", but based on today's column, he could easily devote a year's worth of newsprint to listing the name of every sleepy burg in New England, not to mention every former player and fan: "They did it for the old folks in Presque Isle, Maine, and White River Junction, Vt. They did it for the baby boomers in North Conway, N.H., and Groton, Mass. They did it for the kids in Central Falls, R.I., and Putnam, Conn...And now it's time to toast to Ted Williams, Tom Yawkey, Sherm Feller...[ad nauseum]...It's time for smiles on the faces of Carl Yastrzemski, Bobby Doerr, Dominic DiMaggio, Charlie Wagner...[more nausea]...Time for the Nation to rejoice. Time to dance...to wake infants so they could someday tell them they'd witnessed a historic event."

But by the time he gets the stupid "Curse" out of his system, he'll probably be able to get interminable mileage out of reflecting on the anticlimax of victory, the loss of identity, blah, blah, blah.

P.S. Love the Jim Caple Hack-o-Meter.

Post a comment