Idiots Write About Sports

Scott Boras figures to be a very busy man in the next few weeks. The baseball agent represents Carlos Beltran, who figures to come into a comfortable chunk of money sometime soon. He’s also the agent for Adrian Beltre. And Magglio Ordonez. And Jason Varitek. And Kevin Millwood. And J.D. Drew. And Derek Lowe.

What do all these baseball players have in common? None will have to suffer the indignity of accepting a paycut from their new employers.

And I think that’s great for Boras. It’s time this shy, unassuming country boy who comes from two parents of good stock finally caught a break in the oft-cruel, rarely financially remunerative world of sports agentry.

However, there is one thing Boras says in the wire story referenced above that I’m afraid I must take issue with:

“Icon players have proven to be great investments for their businesses,” said Boras, who previously negotiated megapacts for Alex Rodriguez and Kevin Brown.

Yes. Kevin Brown proved to be such a great investment for the Dodgers six years ago that the team, which never made the playoffs during his tenure with the club, immediately won its division after sending him packing. (Correlation doesn’t necessarily mean causation, I guess, but the Dodgers’ whoops of joy upon Brown’s departure don’t necessarily mean they were heartbroken to see their icon walk out the door, either.) And Alex Rodriguez proved to be such a sound investment for the Texas Rangers, they finished in last place for three consecutive seasons before finally jettisoning him off to The Land Where Unwieldy Contracts Go to Die.

Let’s face it: if the Dodgers and Rangers executives could hop into The Wayback Machine to undo their decisions to throw piles of money at Brown and Rodriguez, respectively, they would gladly to do it. That both teams have happily managed to extricate themselves from their ill-considered financial obligations should tell you all you need to know about the value of icon players.

And it’s not just Scott Boras clients who have failed to impress the employers showering them with filthy lucre. If the Yankees could find a legal loophole that allowed them to stash Jason Giambi’s remains in a Jersey landfill without paying the remaining money they owe to his estate, they would jump at the chance. Boston was prepared to give Manny Ramirez away for nothing at this time last year. (Admittedly, that story ended OK for everyone involved.) The Cubs aren’t exactly readying the “Welcome Back, Sammy Sosa” banners for Waveland Avenue next year. And how are things working out for you in Cincinnati, Mr. Griffey? Please don’t strain anything trying to answer.

This is hardly an earth-shattering sentiment but: big-money, multi-year contracts to star players don’t always pan out the way you’d like. The road of many a World Series victory parade route are paved with the bones of teams who sacrificed roster flexibility for the sake of signing a high-priced free agent or two. One day, you think enough GMs would remember this and not fall prey to Scott Boras’ jedi mind tricks. But with Carlos Beltran available to anyone looking to spend $15-$20 million a year for the next decade, I’m guessing 2004 isn’t going to be the year.

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