Idiots Write About Sports

Did you know that I’m terrifically popular among baseball teams? I mean, not only are the Oakland Athletics offering to have Dave Stewart throw four-seamers at my skull, now the Ana… er… Los Ang… uh… Angels are asking me to appear in a television commercial.

Major League Baseball is searching for the ultimate Angels fan to feature in a national television commercial.

Come to Angel Stadium decked out in your best red on Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2005 between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. Tell us your favorite stories, your game day rituals and most importantly why you can’t wait for the 2005 season to start.
If you are the ultimate fan, we will fly you to Miami, Florida the week of Feb. 14 for a Major League Baseball “I Live For This Fan Casting!” television commercial shoot.

OK, OK — they sent that e-mail to a lot of people. And the only reason I was included on the mass-mailing was because I bought tickets to a few Angels games last year (sure, to root for the team’s hated Northern California-based rival, but money’s money — right, Arte?). But still, it’s very flattering to be asked.

All the same, I do not think that I will make the trek down to Angels Stadium of Anaheim (Los Angeles?) next Tuesday, laregly because attitudes like “I bear the Angels no particular ill will!” or “An accident of geography makes this my hometown team!” will land me that free trip to Miami. But I do encourage any Angels fans within the range of my voice to drive out to Anaheim to proclaim your life-long devotion to a team that many of you believe to be an expansion squad created right before the 2002 season.

Hee! I’m having a shallow laugh at your expense, of course. Even the most casual of Angels fans knows that the team came into existence shortly before the 1979 playoffs against Baltimore before ceasing operations until 1986.

I’m done being a jerk now.

The Anaheim stop is just one of many on the “I Live for This!” tour (though somehow, I imagine Oakland will get passed over since Bud Selig would perfer that franchise either sunk into the sea or relocate to a larger, more profitable, more sucker-filled market). Just the other day, I was watching ESPNnews when an MLB lackey came on to talk up the campaign with Brian Kenney while showing footage of the Boston stop.

And let me just say: thank God Red Sox fans will finally have a forum in which to talk about their devotion to their team. Because I just don’t hear enough about Boston, the Red Sox Nation, and Curt Schilling’s withered ankle. I only hope and pray that MLB’s film crews were able to coax these otherwise shy and reticent fans into opening up on camera.

Oakland is getting passed over, but it's because they missed the playoffs. MLB picked 6 postseason teams (the Braves and Twins got passed over).

I guess what I'd say is that the Twins got passed over for similar reasons. :-)

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