Idiots Write About Sports

And you thought it was just your old friend Phil who had nothing kind to say about know-nothing athletes and coaches turned know-nothing talking heads. My disdain is shared by Jose Mourinho, the manager of Chelsea. For those of you not familiar with the ins and outs of British football — I’m going to assume that’s everyone who’s still reading up to this sentence — Mourinho has come under fire for some of his extracurricular tactics this season, the latest of which was to accuse Barcelona manager Frank Rijkaard of surreptitiously meeting with referee Anders Frisk at halftime of a Chelsea-Barcelona match in the Champions League. The resulting furor lead to death threats and the sudden retirement of Frisk as well as a two-match ban and a firestorm of criticism for Mourinho.

Mourinho is having none of it. Here’s his response to criticism from coaches-turned-talking-heads in all its pissy glory.

The best job in the world is to be a sacked coach. You get up at 10.30am, take breakfast, go for a jog followed by a sauna and a calm surf of sporting sites on the net.

Lunch with friends, a siesta, a walk, a meeting with your adviser to see how the markets are doing, a visit to the bank to weigh up the interest rates, or to see if the salary the club is still paying you has cleared the account.

Return home, have a great meal with the family. That still leaves you time to criticise people you don’t know.

There are so many coaches in this world who want to work but can’t and there are those dashing blades who, through their quality and prestige, could work but don’t want to, because life as a parasite fulfils them professionally and economically.

Get to work you idle scoundrel! And if you don’t want to, let others work in peace.

Sometimes, I think we American sporting types could stand to learn a thing or two from our European counterparts.

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