Idiots Write About Sports

I did not see Rich Harden’s ascension into Ace-i-tude on Thursday. It was my wife’s birthday, and so I got her the gift that every woman dreams of — an evening free of the sharp mood swings and bursts of profanity brought on by watching an A’s game.

I also got her a DVD.

So instead of tuning into the A’s-Mariners contest, we spent the evening with friends at a lovely French bistro. And may I say, if you ever need to spend an evening in the Cone of Silence and you find yourself in Southern California’s South Bay region, you should do yourself a favor and dine at Aimee’s Bistro of Redondo Beach. The food is great. The ambience is terrific. The staff is attentive and helpful without making you feel like a horse’s ass if you need an assist. Trying to find something to drink with my duck entree, I tentatively ordered a Bordeaux that, admitedly, I picked at random. The waiter looked at me. “I’ll bring you something better,” he said. And you know what? He did — a great cabernet that no doubt whiped the floor with that nameless Bordeaux while complementing the flavor of the duck. Good, good stuff.

Where was I? Oh, right, the A’s…

“Beware of small sample sizes” seems to be the theme of the statistically-inclined this month, but I think the past two-and-a-half weeks have given us a pretty good bead on the kind of team Oakland is going to field this season. No, the offense isn’t going to be this unproductive all year (though the A’s will have trouble scoring runs with any regularity, given the team’s decided lack of power outside of Chavez and to some extent Durazo). Zito’s struggles aside, it looks like the starting pitching should deliver more solid outings than stinkers — although I worry that Joe Blanton won’t be able to keep up his promising start unless he bumps that Ks per nine innings number to something higher than 2.55. The bullpen is what it is — better than last year, Juan Cruz’s generosity to opposing batters notwithstanding. Let’s just hope Kiko Calero’s elbow starts feeling back up to snuff soon.

But what’s most striking about this year’s team is its consistent inconsistency. Win a few, lose a few, hover around .500 without getting on any sort of streak good or bad. We’re the Prozac team — we know neither highs or lows.

There are worse fates, I suppose (See Rockies, Colorado). And maybe it will keep us in the division race for a few more months, at least until Anaheim gets its act together and laps the field. It’s just that “A’s Baseball: Hovering Around Either Side of .500!” isn’t exactly the sort of slogan that steels your resolve for the remaining five months of the season.

Post a comment