Idiots Write About Sports

As mentioned in this very space last year, your humble correspondent is a big fan of the Baseball Hall of Fame induction ceremonies. And while this year’s installment lacked last year’s overt Oakland tie-in, I can still claim some personal connection to one of today’s honorees.

Back in the days when I was an ink-stained wretch toiling in the fields of daily newspapering, the paper which employed me required each staff writer to file a profile of an accomplished person on a fairly regular basis. The task required maximum effort for minimum reward and was recognized by most on staff for the drudgery that it was. However, in an entirely uncharacteristic effort to make the best out of a grim assignment, I usually pushed to do my profiles in a subject area that I at least cared about — baseball. At least that way, I figured, I would be doing research I found interesting and — who knows? — maybe even talk with a ballplayer or two that I admired.

The subject of one of these profiles was Casey Stengel, he of the five consecutive World Series titles (and seven overall) and assorted strategic machinations. And while there were a number of good books on Stengel available back then — and a few more that have come out since then — getting an interview with the man himself would prove to be a tricky proposition, as he was dead at the present time. So were most of his contemporaries. You could look it up.

Racking my brain for a source, I finally came up with Jerry Coleman, one of the corps of players to man second base for Stengel’s Yankees and now a broadcaster who provides play-by-play calls amid the occasional malaprop. I called up the Padres’ flagship station, left a message for Coleman, and hung up, fully expecting him to ignore a message from a no-name reporter writing an article about a baseball manager for a business newspaper he probably never heard of.

Well, Coleman didn’t ignore the message. He called me back, graciously gave me as much of his time as I needed, and provided insightful, helpful, and funny answers to questions about Stengel that other, better interviewers must have asked him 100 times. He didn’t have to go through all that effort — it’s not like our paths ever crossed before or were likely to ever again — but he did, because he’s unfailingly polite and has an enthusiasm for talking baseball. It’s nice to see a guy like that get rewarded, especially when it’s one of the top honors of his profession.

By the way, my all-time favorite Jerry Coleman malaprop is “Next up is Willie McGee, who swings both ways.”

I’ve never had the fortune to enjoy any interaction with Peter Gammons, honored by the writers’ wing today. But the word on the street is, he’s every bit as pleasant a person to be around. You would certainly get that impression from the speech he gave today. (Download the transcript here in case you missed the broadcast.) Here’s a guy who loves baseball, loves his job, and hasn’t lost any of that passion after more than 30 years in the business. That’s living well, friends.

As for the players inducted today… well, unfortunately, I just don’t have any personal anecdotes or memories connected to their careers. Obviously, I recognize their greatness — other than Tony Gwynn, there wasn’t a pure hitter better than Wade Boggs in the late 1980s. And Ryne Sandberg is so obviously the best second baseman of his era, it boggles the mind that he wasn’t a first-ballot selection.

But… (there’s always a but, huh?)… Boggs has always rubbed me the wrong way. Whether it was that brief period he wanted to enter the Hall of Fame with a Tampa Bay Devil Ray insigna on his cap or the Sarah Bernhardt-esque way he circled the bases after homering for his 3,00th hit, there was always something that kept me from fulling rooting for Boggs, the way I came to pull for Gwynn. This is obviously my failing, and not his.

As for Sandberg, I can certainly appreciate Cubs’ fans enthusiasm and affection for the guy. But boy, I did not care one iota for his speech today. I mean, the overall message was good — respect the game, play hard — but the way he delivered it had a “You kids today, with your home runs and your steroids and your rock music” feel to it.

Harry [Caray], who was a huge supporter of mine, used to say how nice it is that a guy who can hit 40 homers or steal 50 bases drive in a hundred runs is the best bunter on the team. Nice? That was my job. When did it become okay for someone to hit home runs and forget how to play the rest of the game?

Or:

When we went home every winter, they warned us not lift heavy weights because they didn’t want us to lose flexibility. They wanted us to be baseball players, not only home run hitters. I played high school football at 185 pounds and played big league baseball at 182. I’d get up to maybe 188 in the off season because every summer I’d lose eight to ten pounds. In my day, if a guy came to spring training 20 pounds heavier than what he left, he was considered out of shape and was probably in trouble.

Or even:

I watched [Andre Dawson] win MVP for a last place team in 1987 and it was the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever seen in baseball. He did it the right way, the natural way and he did it in the field and on the bases and in every way.

You hear that, modern-day ballplayer? Ryne Sandberg is calling you out! Well, not by name, actually, since that would take guts. But you want pointed accusations aimed at no one in particular, Ryno’s your guy.

Seriously, Sandberg is in danger of turning into a cranky old man right before our eyes. Unless steps are taken to reign that in, in a few years, he’s going to be telling us how the basepaths were 120 feet long in his day and how you had to run uphill to reach home plate. And then he’s going to yell at today’s ballplayers to get the hell of his lawn. And I think that will just be awkward for everybody.

Update: In case you don’t care to download Old Man Sandberg’s complaints about these damn kids and their home-run trots, the full text is available here.

Hey, now. Don't be dissing Ryno.

-Cubs Fan Since Birth

;-)

An excellent ballpalyer -- one of the best second baseman in my lifetime (since Joe Morgan was a shell of his former self by the time I was of age, and I still don't know where I rank the Roberto Alomars, Craig Biggios and Jeff Kents of the world) -- and a nice enough guy, I'm sure. The tone of the remarks seemed a bit funky, given the occassion is all.

Still, it's his day, so he can use the forum to gripe about anything he wants, I guess. It just seems like if he dislikes Sammy Sosa that much, why speak in vagaries?

Ooh, a Sammy/Ryno flame war -- wouldn't that make the newspapers happy?

Thanks for the link to the Coleman-isms. Echo your Gammons comment, and can relate: A couple of Septembers ago at Pac Bell, he was standing next to the walkway behind right field 1/2 an hour before the first pitch, just taking it all in. A friend of mine and I greeted him, introduced ourselves, asked him what he thought of the park, and he said very clearly that it was the greatest ballpark he'd ever seen. I don't think he was pandering to the locals.

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