Idiots Write About Sports

How to explain the A’s gripping win over the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles last night? Some would say it was thanks to Nick Swisher’s clutch hitting. Others might point to a series of mental and physical errors by the Angels, culminating in Scot Shields uncorking a Nuke LaLoosh-esque wild pitch to plate the ever-important insurance run. Still, others might point to Oakland’s intestinal fortitude and the ability to come back after a haunting 9-2 pasting the night before.

Bunkum, balderdash, and piffle, I say. Any true baseball observer knows that full credit for the victory goes to Bobby Kielty. Let’s have Susan Slusser explain:

Before the game, outfielder Bobby Kielty donned a full Ronald McDonald costume, complete with clown makeup, to the delight of his teammates…

“He looks exactly like him,” said Kendall, who tracked down the outfit. “He never should have to pay for a Big Mac in his entire life.”

Kielty was greeted with hoots and hollers, and teammates jostled to get their photos taken with him.

“That’s the hardest I’ve laughed all year,” Crosby said. “That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s all in fun. … It gets everyone loose and it’s a perfect time to do it, after a rough one Tuesday night.”

Now, the Angels are crafty foes, and I expect them to respond in kind before tonight’s game. I won’t be at all surprised to turn on the TV and see Anaheim manager Mike Scioscia dressed as Grimace. For one thing, purple is slimming. For another, when Scioscia inevitably waddles onto the field to complain to the umpires about some imagined slight, he can bring them a tray of frosty Shamrock Shakes; it will be an excellent tension breaker.

Mike Scioscia, signalling for the left-hander

Or maybe if Scioscia doesn’t want to shed his Halo gear for purple garb, he can pick a less elaborate costume.

“Forget stealing bases, Figgy. Just swipe me more of those delicious McDonald’s hamburgers!”

In either case, I advise the A’s to be on the lookout for more Scioscia tricks.

Scioscia, after the game, in an interview with a Times reporter noted the Angels failure to hold down the A's in late innings:

"Robble, robble, robble, robble," Scioscia said after a pointed question about the team's suddenly wobbly bullpen.

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