Idiots Write About Sports

Of course, there was more to Tuesday night’s Dodger game than random celebrity spottings. Because Tuesday’s game will also go down in history as The Night Milton Bradley Lost His Marbles.

I’m going to presume you’ve either seen the footage or read the game accounts of the Bradley ejection. But here’s my first-person account from my field-level seat. Bradley was scheduled to lead off the top of the sixth, with the Dodgers trailing Milwaukee 1-0. As he approached the plate, umpire Terry Craft was waiting for him. The two began talking, with the conversation growing increasingly heated. Craft made the ejection motion, which is when Bradley got really animated. Jim Tracy sprinted out of the dugout to wedge himself between Bradley and Craft; Bradley nearly scaled up his manager’s back to get at the umpire.

That’s when Bradley took off his batting glove and helmet and set them down with the bat near home plate. That attracted the attention of Joe West, who dashed in from second base to confiscate the bat, helmet and gloves and have them sent to the umpire’s dressing room. Here’s West’s explanation, according to the L.A. Times:

We confiscated the bat because no one went to pick it up, No. 1. And the way the players association has been handling the appeals and everything, we wanted the office to know that we had fined him for an equipment violation, and we had the equipment if they wanted it in their office. We called the office and they said, “No, we have a film on it, give it back to him.”

Well, the first part of that is nonsense, really, since a batboy was making a move to pick up the equipment when West ran over — the umpire practically stiff-armed him to get to the equipment first. So the Dodgers’ complaint that West was trying to show Bradley up? Not without merit.

Anyhow, once West grabbed the equipment, that’s when Tracy lost it (he was ejected, too) and when Bradley tossed the sack of baseballs out on the field. The Dodger fans around me stood and cheered — they’re so cute when they throw their first tantrum!

Here’s guessing that reaction wears off after about the third or fourth ejection. Because — and make no mistake about it — Bradley’s good for a couple of these per season. Last year, Bradley got ejected from an A’s game under similar circumstances — only then it was a bat he threw and not a bunch of baseballs. You don’t need a Monopoly on common sense to see that having Milton Bradley on your team can be a Risk — and you have to wonder sometimes if he’s worth the Trouble. After all, Sorry only takes care of so much, and you can’t keep going Bonkers if you expect to succeed at The Game of Life.

OK — that’s enough with the board game puns.

One last note on the Milton Bradley ejection: the Dodger Talk host who isn’t Ross Porter took a rather dim view of Bradley’s antics. The nub of his complaint: tossing the baseballs set a really bad example for the kids in attendance.

Well, I’m not one to dispute the notion that the children are our future, but how the young’ens were scarred by Milton Bradley had nothing to do with why Dodger fans should be more than a little miffed at the center-fielder’s meltdown. Instead, Bradley’s behavior was problematic for two reasons.

1) It incited the fans. Right after Bradley began tossing baseballs, the fans in the left field bleachers began throwing objects on the field — cups, garbage, God knows what else. And that’s the section of the stadium where they don’t serve beer! Fans are ultimately responsible for their own behavior, but having the star player ranting and raving like a madman with no one making much of an effort to control him isn’t a good recipe for crowd control.

2) It hurts his team’s chances of winning — both short-term and long-term. Yeah, Bradley’s replacement, Dave Roberts went two for two and scored the Dodgers only run. But he made a defensive error in the seventh inning that turned a one-run hit into a two-run hit allowing the batter to move into scoring position for a third run. And that ultimately put the game out of reach.

What’s more, if Bradley responds to his ejection by turning around and walking back to the clubhouse without any further incident, he’s suspended one game, if that. Instead, as I type this, word has come down that Bradley will sit four games. Hope it isn’t four games the Dodgers need to win.

Forget about thinking of the children. Won’t somebody think of the post-season?