Idiots Write About Sports

Derek Zumsteg of Baseball Prospectus (and USS Mariner) is a really good writer. His pieces about the Cubs’ morally indefensible and legally questionable self-scalping ticket policies were wonderful. His projection of his 2010 Seattle Mariners season-ticket bill (premium sub required) is one of the funniest baseball-related items I’ve read.

Today’s Zumsteg piece on BP, [Team Name Here] (really, you should pony up the dough for a subscription) is funny, but his outrage is a bit silly. Yes, Fox Sports Net’s local-fan promos are false, because they appear in every single market, modified slightly to make it seem that they’ve been crafted for your own region and collection of local teams. (I know, it may be shocking for some of you, but that ad where the guy gets crushed on the construction site because he ought to be an A’s fan? It wasn’t just meant for you.)

As a matter of fact, Fox has been doing this for a while. It’s just that lately, their skill in this regard has really improved. It’s much harder to tell now than it was three years ago that all the promos are the same. Why, back in ought-one, I think they actually had promos where someone was talking about their love of their team, but only spoke the team’s name when there was a timely cutaway. These days the “localization” of Fox Sports Net promos is much more sophisticated.

But why the outrage? Fox is a big business. Sure they’re cold, cruel, heartless, and don’t really care about your local teams, except in the sense that suckers like you, who love those teams, help make them money. Fox sucks. We all know Fox sucks. Would it really be any different if the good people of Fox Sports Net Chicago made their very own promos, rather than using ones hatched by the evil geniuses back in L.A.?

Judging by some of the ads I’ve seen on NESN, YES, and the few other non-Fox local sports channels, my answer is no.

I was going to make a comment about that column myself, but then I had some sort of philosophical crisis when I considered that I'd be making an issue out of him making an issue out of a non-issue. Or something like that.

Just in case you haven't clued in, everyone, TV lies.

The other point I was considering was why do hard-core baseball fans tend to get all bent out of shape when the game is tarted up for the less intelligent? Those commercials aren't directed at us. The funky between-innings music and dot racing isn't for us. We, the hard-core, are sold already, and it will take something unimaginable to drive us away. Stupid TV commercials ain't it. The hard-core is the minority and is taken for granted, usually with good reason. I'd love to have a purist's experience at the yard or on TV, but it's not going to happen. It's the casual and fair-weather fan that makes or breaks the ratings and attendance, so that's who gets targeted.

Bruce Jenkins you ain't, Marty. :-)