Idiots Write About Sports

I’m heading out to Washington next week, one of the few times I have ever been in the Baltimore-D.C. area during the baseball season, so I purchased tickets to attend Wednesday’s Oriole game. The fact that my trip is timed to coincide with Oakland’s only visit to Camden Yards this season is surely coincidental.
Since buying the tickets last week, however, I have been flooded with e-mail from the Orioles organization (I have got to remember to click the “opt out” options during e-commerce, don’t I?) who apparently took one look at my Southern California mailing address and figured, “This is clearly a potential season ticket-holder who must know all about our assorted promotions.” And so, I have been notified of my opportunity to bid on game-worn jerseys from last weekend’s Orioles 80’s retro game — Sweet! I can wear a shirt that Chris Hoiles sweated on! — and Melvin Mora T-shirt day and the upcoming DC Summer FanFest (This year’s theme: “Please don’t desert us after the Expos move in!”). And remember, fans — this Sunday is Earl Weaver & Jim Palmer Bobblehead Day.
You will be disappointed, as I was, to learn that Earl and Jim are not throttling each other.