Idiots Write About Sports

From ESPN’s recap of Game Seven of the NLCS:

Goat: Roger Clemens/Phil Garner. The two met at the mound to discuss whether or not to pitch to Albert Pujols with the tying run on third base and two outs in the bottom of the sixth. They decided to go ahead and pitch to Pujols, and it came back to burn them badly as he smacked a double to left to tie the game 2-2.

And from the San Francisco Chronicle’s account of the contest:

[Jeff] Suppan outpitched Clemens with six blue-collar innings in which he allowed two runs, one earned, including a game-opening homer by Craig Biggio and a run created by the legs and imagination of Astros center fielder Carlos Beltran.

I don’t like to say I told you so, but… No, wait a minute. I love to say I told you so. Because I so rarely get to say it.

I told you so. I told you so. I told you so.

Whee.

So congratulations to the Cardinals who win the National League pennant, as I predicted (told you so!), and to the Red Sox for winning the American League pennant, which I… um… did not predict at all.

See? Don’t get to say I told you so very much at all.

God, ESPN is such a fountain of tripe. Calling Garner and Clemens goats for pitching to Pujols instead of Rolen is amazingly silly. Let's turn Pujols' double into a walk. Ding. Now we pitch to Rolen. Ding. There goes a three-run homer, making it 4-2. It's the same freaking thing! Except! That Pujols had a chance to make an out in the actual scenario.

I am so grateful that the Idiots are here to provide reassurance that I make the right decision most days when I forgo visiting ESPN.

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