Idiots Write About Sports

Actual quotes from actual McCarvers, during Game Six of the ALCS:

“If the Yankees go on to lose this game, New York is going to be a very nervous town.”

Really? Huh. OK — coming within 27 outs of blowing a three game to zero lead against your rival makes your fanbase nervous. That’s good to know.

Insight like that is why Tim McCarver is making the big bucks, ladies and gentlemen.

Ooh! I liked this one:
"The Red Sox are trying to win this Game Six here in the Bronx."
REALLY? Get outta here! What about the Yankees, are they also trying to win?

That was some pretty cagey strategy on the part of Boston, trying to win Game Six.

Two more gems from the wine dark mind of Tim McCarver (both are paraphrased ever so slightly):

* "A walk is as good as a home run." -- Said in the ninth inning of Game Six when Foulke walked Matsui to start the inning. The point he was trying to get across -- make the batter earn his way onto base instead of automatically bringing the tying run to the plate -- was correct. The way he phrased it was laughable.

* "That's like two outs in one." -- from Game five when Damon bunted and failed to advance the runners on first and second. No, Tim, since only one out was recorded on the play, I'm pretty sure that still only counts as one out.

His best moment was the Matsui walk in the bottom of the 9th.

"That walk is same thing as if Matsui had hit a homerun."

Huh?

Tim's dramatic intonation in the tenth inning of Game 5 -- that "this is the Red Sox season, right here" -- caused me to yell "it's a TIE GAME, you dipshit!" to no one in particular.

It's also hilarious to observe how the Beatification of St. Derek (tm Sars) has all but disappeared as the Yanks have struggled, to the point where even McCarver admitted Jeter missed the tags on Damon and Ortiz in Game 5.

I thought he got the big money because keeping your head that far up Derek Jeter's ass has to be uncomfortable. His attempt to defend Jeter's error in Game 3 ("It was a bad hop!" when any other shortstop in the majors makes the play routinely) was laughable, but hardly new.

I just wanted to say that Tim McCarver is why your brother and sister shouldn't have unprotected sex with each other. He's also made me think abortion isn't such a bad thing, if your kids are going to be this stupid.

I just wanted to say hi to my uncle Tim McCarver.And that I'am his neice Desiree,Iam Tracie's daughter which is Grandpa Robert Joseph McCarver daughter.And I wanted to known if you would email me back.Oh yeah I also play softball I have been playing for 8 years Iam really well at it too.I also like to play basketbal only have been playing for 1 year.
from Desiree McCarver

Post a comment