Idiots Write About Sports

Boy, the A’s looked fast in Thursday night’s game against the Orioles. They swung fast, they ran fast, they took the field and returned to the dugout super fast. Starting pitcher Dan Harren looked blazingly fast. So did Eric Byrnes, when he rounded the bases after hitting his eighth-inning, game-deciding three-run home-run. The A’s even looked fast running down to first base after walks — as if they were running at 2X speed!

Of course, I watched the game on TiVo in fast-forward mode, so that could explain a lot.

Using the 2X fast-forward button on TiVo — this is not my preferred method of watching a baseball game. But it was sadly necessary. I took the car in for an oil change about the same time the game was beginning, I had an article to finish for the paying job, and then there was the small matter of dinner. Then it was time to participate in the rigorous exercise program my wife has prescribed for me as part of her inexplicable desire to keep my heart from suddenly exploding. By the time all that was wrapped up, it was 11 p.m., and I still had a three-hour baseball game sitting on my TiVo and demanding my full attention. So, fast-forward mode it was.

And what an enjoyable game too — a solid outing by Haren, a nice late-inning rally by the A’s, and, for the second night in a row, a comical Sammy Sosa “I hit a home run” bunny hop when the Baltimore slugger did not, in point of fact, actually homer. (This time it was a ground-rule double and not a fly out. Still, you wonder when folks in Baltimore are going to start getting on him about the showboating.)

Something else worth noting: Thursday’s game had a rare showing of strategic brilliance from my frequent target of ridicule, Ken Macha. The situation: top of the eighth, nobody out with Marco Scutaro and Mark Kotsay on second and first thanks to a walk and a fielding miscue so bad you’d think you were watching the 2003 A’s. Eric Byrnes is up, and he tries to lay down a bunt. (It was a beauty of a bunt, too, especially considering that isn’t exactly Byrnes’ strong suit.) We’ll let the Chronicle’s Susan Slusser pick up the narrative from there:

Macha said the idea all along was that if Byrnes didn’t get the first one down, he’d swing away, because he was likely to get a fastball.

“I knew there was a possibility of Byrnes getting a (batting-practice) fastball, and he did,” A’s center fielder Mark Kotsay said. “I thought it was a great call by Macha.”

Indeed, it was. Steve Kline threw the expected fastball, Byrnes clobbered it to center, and the A’s leave Baltimore taking two out of three from the O’s. I’ll take results like that any day, fast-forwarded or not.

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