Idiots Write About Sports

If I have to listen to him, there’s no reason why you people shouldn’t suffer, too. So we proudly introduce a new feature here at the Idiot Sports Weblog: the collective wit and wisdom of Angels color man Rex Hudler. Whenever circumstances require me to watch a significant portion of an Angels telecast featuring the fomer utility man and current shill, I will select one quote that captures Hudler’s special je ne sais qua.
Without further ado, here are the candidates from the April 15 broadcast of the Angels-A’s game:
Runner-Up: The situation — Barry Zito has just completed eight innings of stellar work, but leaves the game trailing 2-1.
Quoth the Hudler: “[Zito pitched well] though he has a chance not to win this game.”
Yes, well, now that he’s been removed, I would say that the chances are 100 percent that he won’t get the win. Or, to use Hudler-esque sentence structure, his chances of not winning are double negative-zero plus infinity.
The Winner: Steve Finley has led off the fifth inning by getting plunked by Zito. That brings Bengie Molina to the plate. He works a 3-0 count before, inexplicably, swinging at the next pitch and popping it up. The A’s end up escaping the inning with no damage on the scoreboard.
Says our man Hud: “”Mike [Scioscia] likes to turn Benjie loose though so he doesn’t get on base and clog the bases.”
Yeah, the last thing you want midway through a scorelss ballgame is to start an inning with too many men on base. That really bogs an offense down.