Idiots Write About Sports

Holy cow! An A’s win! A good A’s win! With timely hitting and stellar bullpen work and come-from behind heroics, even!
How shall we celebrate these newfound good times? Shall we wax rhapsodic on our Streak of One? Shall we cancel those plans for a radical overhaul? Shall we don our “There Is an ‘A’ in Streak” shirt and dance, dance, dance until the neighbors call the authories?
We shall do no such thing. Instead, we will devote our mind to more intellectual pursuits. We shall read Ken Arneson’s account of a Golden Baseball League game featuring 146-year-old outfielder Rickey Henderson. We shall comfort ourselves that no matter how bad things get, at least we are not saddled with the Kansas City Royals’ brain trust. And we shall dedicate our nights to scholarship of the most important question currently facing academia:

With his new haircut, who does Bobby Kielty most resemble?

The Elongated Man, Ralph Dibny?

Or the villainous Syndrome?
We remind you: this is a very important issue.