Idiots Write About Sports

Clearly I have been watching far too much Cheap Seats, the episode featuring the Pam Minnick def poetry slam in particular. Because during tonight’s Rangers-A’s game, when I noticed that Jay Witasick was pitching in a ballgame that was still very much in doubt, I was moved to break out a poem of my own.
If we lose this game,
I hope you are torn limb to limb by Chewbaca,
Ken Macha
… I said aloud. Not skipping a beat, my wife offered a poem of her own:
Your illogical pitching moves
would be puzzling to Mr. Spock-a,
Ken Macha
… which I followed up with:
On Land of the Lost,
the character you connect with intellectually is Chaka,
Ken Macha
Ken Macha responded by removing Witasick in favor of Ricardo Rincon. So clearly long-distance taunting has no effect on him.