Idiots Write About Sports

From the accounts and descriptions of Friday night’s A’s-O’s game:

Kendall dashed to third safely, taking advantage of former teammate Eric Byrnes’ erratic arm, and then Kendall scored on another flyball to Byrnes, a sacrifice fly by Eric Chavez, coming in just ahead of the throw.

You know, I never realized it before, but the phrase “Eric Byrnes’ erratic arm” is a lot easier to take when he’s wearing somebody’s uniform.

Still, I can’t be sure whether or not after years of antipathy toward Byrnes, I’ve finally made my peace with his horrible defensive play now that his errors and miscues actually benefit the Athletics instead of doom us to another defeat. Oh, if only I had one more instance of a Byrnes misplay that worked to Oakland’s favor.

Eric Byrnes, well known for his defensive adventures during his time in Oakland, let Dan Johnson’s drive into the left-field gap pop out of his glove after he’d run it down in the 12th inning. Johnson went to third on the error, and rookie right fielder Nick Swisher drilled a 2-2 pitch from Jorge Julio out to right, the deciding blow in Oakland’s 10-5 victory over the Orioles.

“It just came out,” Byrnes said. “I have no excuses. I have to make that play.”

No excuses necessary, Eric. You just keep on keeping on.

Apparently, some credit for Byrnes’ predictable play in this four-game Oakland sweep goes to the A’s broadcast teamm, according to this report from Joe Roderick:

After landing in Baltimore early Thursday night, A’s broadcasters Ray Fosse, Ken Korach and Steve Bitker headed out to Camden Yards to watch part of the Angels-Orioles game. After indulging in Boog’s Barbeque, they sat in the left field bleachers and got the attention of Byrnes, the former A’s outfielder. ”I looked up there and saw them,” Byrnes said. ”That definitely brought a smile to my face.”

Left out of the report is what Fosse, et. al. said to Byrnes to get his attention, but I think I can guess. I believe they invited him to enjoy a nice game of solitaire.

“I… must… kill… the… queen…”

Clearly, the brainwashing and mind implants performed prior to the Byrnes-for-Kennedy-and-Witasick trade has been a rip-roaring success. Now if we can just get Bill Stoneman to swing a waiver wire deal for Byrnes…

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