Idiots Write About Sports

Waiting for Joe Kennedy, A Play in One Act

Dramatis Persona:
Me
My Father
A Public Address Announcer

My Father: Who’s that warming up in the A’s bullpen?

Me: You got the binoculars. You tell me.

My Father: Number 37. Left-handed.

Me: I’m pretty sure that’s Joe Kennedy.

My Father: Huh. Wish I knew who that was.

Me: Now that I think about it, I remember reading that Kennedy was set to follow Haren in the A’s pitching lineup today.

My Father: You know, I should look it up in my roster here…

Me: It’s Joe Kennedy.

My Father: Let’s see… pitchers… Number 37….

Me: Joe Kennedy

My Father: Can’t seem to find it here.

A Public Address Announcer: Your attention please: now pitching for Oakland… Number 37… Joe Kennedy.

My Father: It’s Joe Kennedy who’s pitching.

[a pause while I briefly weigh the pros and cons of patricide]

Me: Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s Ethel Kennedy.

My Father: Huh?

Post a comment