Idiots Write About Sports

While we are on the subject of the A’s spring training opener, I wanted to pass along a brain-teaser from today’s game that’s been bugging me all day.

Four people were brought onto the Hohokam Stadium field prior to the start of the game to toss out a pitch. I have no idea who they were or what they did to merit the honor of starting off the very first spring training game of the year. My notes list the participants as: some gal affiliated with a promotion at the local Harley-Davidson dealership; some dude affiliated with a promotion at the local Harley-Davidson dealership; some guy introduced only as “a close friend of the Cubs family;” and some local teacher who decided to give up smoking, much to the delight of the state’s department of health. None of this is germane to the issue at hand, which is this:

Four people were on hand to throw out the ceremonial first pitch.

I do not want to seem like I am bashing the Chicago Cubs and their spirit of inclusiveness. Nor do I want to come across as petty since I was one of the few people in attendance not asked to throw out a first pitch. No, my problem here is simply that when the P.A. announcer says something along the lines of, “And now, the fourth person to toss out our ceremony first pitch…” either one of two things is true:

1) You have three too many people throwing out first pitches; or

2) You need to start calling the ceremonial first pitch something else.

Perhaps...the ceremonial first inning?

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