Idiots Write About Sports

The in-laws paid a visit to Casa De Ruin the past week. And because the cat whose inconsitent performance mirrors the pitcher he’s named after has resumed his eratic urinary habits — “What a nice guest bed… for me to pee on!” — we stashed the in-laws in our master bedroom and took refuge in what would normally be our guest bedroom. (Motto: Cat urine-free since a week ago Tuesday!) The arrangement went swimmingly until the final night of my in-laws’ stay when the other cat — the one not named after any active ballplayer — woke me up to demand that I feed her post-haste. So I staggered out of bed, headed downstairs… and missed the final step of the staircase, taking an unexpected plunge to the floor below.

I am happy to report that I did not sprawl ass over tea kettle. In fact, I managed to stick the landing in a manner that would make Bart Conner proud (though I believe the German judge deducted points for artistic merit). Unfortunately, the full-force of landing on my right leg has left my knee feeling a might bit tender. It only hurts when I have to go up stairs or walk or stand around or sit for prolonged periods. But I think I should be OK.

In that sense, I have much in common with the Oakland Athletics who are currently suffering through an epidemic of minor to moderate injuries, as this Chronicle report suggests. The hit list:

*Huston Street hasn’t thrown a pitch since the Detroit series more than a week ago, owing to a strained pectoralis minor. He threw some pitches in the bullpen Wednesday, however, so, it’s likely that he’ll be good to go against the Royals on Friday.

* Milton Bradley jammed his knee, diving back into first during Tuesday’s game. (Milton! I jammed my knee, too! We are brothers in suffering! I am also prone to fiery rages!) He sat out the Wednesday game, but look for him to play again against the Royals.

* Esteban Loaiza has a strained upper back and neck muscle — no word if he strained the neck watching the speedy trajectory of his pitches as opposing players belted them out of the 510-area code. He should make his scheduled start on Saturday; whether this is cause for celebration depends entirely on your point of view, I suppose.

* Bobby Crosby was back in the lineup Tuesday after sitting out a couple of three games. And, until the next stiff breeze comes along and shatters one of his bones, he should be in the lineup to stay.

* Rich Harden left in the fourth inning of Wednesday’s game with back spasms — a turn of events that caused me to fling my radio headphones in despair as I listened to the game in my office on Wednesday afternoon. Will Carroll’s sources are telling him the injury is “minor” and that the move is “precautionary.”

I’ll say this: when Frank Thomas is the picture of health and dependability, you’ve got yourself a gimpy ballclub. We all know how Billy Beane likes to corner the market on things that are under-valued elsewhere — be it on-base percentage, college-aged draft picks, defense, and now a deep bench. Maybe it’s time to devote that considerable brain power to the merits of good, clean living and obscure herbal remedies. Because at the rate the injuries are piling up, the A’s should forget about moving to Fremont and instead play their home games at Alta Bates.

By the way, even with my knee injury, I expect to resume normal baseball activities Friday. For me, this involves drinking beer and watching the game on TV, but I still don’t think you should discount my ability to play through pain.

I have a friend with a dog named Zito.

I sprained both my ankles playing soccer on Friday. Even A's bloggers are coming down with the injury bug!

_Both_ ankles? That is some hard-core soccer. Also, "injured while playing soccer" rates much higher on the manly injury scale than "fell down stairs while going to feed cat." I think I'm just going to tell people I was roughed up by young toughs from now on.

Well, I sprained the left one mildly and kept playing. Then I sprained the right one, a bit more severely. The consolation prize for the second one is that I scored a goal in the process, and we won our first game in about two months.

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