Idiots Write About Sports

I don’t care who you are or where you hail from — nothing chases the work-day blues away quite like hearing a plastered Rick Sutcliffe opining on George Clooney’s recent advocacy of intervention in Darfur. (Just wait patiently for the local San Diego DJs to stop blathering in their introduction of the Sutcliffe clip, though listening to Morning Zoo-style radio antics might make you want to have some of whatever Sutcliffe’s drinking.)

The clip, which comes to us from Gaslamp Ball (by way of Deadspin), stems from Sutcliffe’s surprise visit to the Channel 4 broadcast booth during last night’s Padres-Brewers game. “Rambling and slurred!” raves the Associated Press, but at least he didn’t delve into the apparently dicey subject of unisex dugouts.

Oh, how we long for the next installment of impotent finger-wagging that is the George Solomon ombudsman column. How ever will George deal with this thorny issue? One can only imagine.

Many ESPN viewers wrote in about Rick Sutcliffe’s recent appearance on a local Padres broadcast. While it’s worth noting that Sutcliffe was not appearing on behalf of ESPN during the telecast, the network should still encourage its on-air personalities to exercise better judgment when they go out drinking with Bill Murray. Furthermore, I would encourage ESPN to look into not allowing people to appear on its airwaves while they are three sheets to the wind.

In Sutcliffe's defense, his inebriated babbling in the booth Wednesday night wasn't noticeably worse than the stuff he spouts when sober.

Back when Sutcliffe was a regular presence in the Channel 4 announcing booth, his hallmarks were waxing poetic about the greatness of his own career, relentless name-dropping, and putting a obnoxiously positive spin on anything and everything Padres-related, even those things that were, in actuality, utter shit. Occasionally, when the production team had had enouh of his verbal diarrhea, a little yellow flag would slide out from behind the scoreboard in the corner, as a signal that perhaps Sut should shut the hell up, and soon. If Sutcliffe didn't take the hint, the yellow flag would be replaced by a red flag, and whomever else was in the booth would be forced to actually shush the Red Baron.

So hearing Sut jabber on about George Clooney, or imply on-air that Matt Vasgersian is too good an announcer for his podunk Channel 4 digs, is actually a bit of an improvement.

I don't think I have to tell you, Steve-O, how disappointed I am that I had to find out about drunken Rick Sutcliffe from a blog instead of directly from you. Shameful. Just shameful.

On a happier note, it's good to see that Dave, Shelly, and the Chainsaw are still filling San Diego County's airwaves with hilarity.

"Shameful. Just shameful."

I feel remorse. I really do.

I have a Slingbox set up for the primary purpose of keeping me abreast of Padres-related happenings while I'm on the road. It doesn't do a whole hell of a lot of good, however, when the TiVo interrupts the proceedings in order to see what that snarky Simon Cowell is up to tonight.

"On a happier note, it's good to see that Dave, Shelly, and the Chainsaw are still filling San Diego County's airwaves with hilarity."

I was a little surprised to learn that, myself. I had begun to believe they were simply part of a very unpleasant fever dream I once had.

The most impressive thing to me is that they've managed to maintain the same level of quality over the years. Imagine: sixty-some years in morning radio, and still not the slightest hint of comedy. How do they do it?

Posted by Steve-O at May 11, 2006 11:47 PM

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