Idiots Write About Sports

Mark Ellis became the 733rd member of the A’s to go on the Disabled List this season, either with a broken thumb or the falling sickness — reports are unclear. What is clear, however, is who his replacement on the 25-man roster is: Jeremy Brown, who, thanks to the efforts of Michael Lewis, is perhaps the world’s most famous third-string catcher. What is even more clear is what this particular roster move means for the A’s: more playing time for Adam Melhuse.

Melhuse has caught every fourth or fifth day. He’s also spent some time at DH this year. The other night in Texas, he spent a few innings manning third when the thought of sending Antonio Perez and his sub-.100 average to the plate was too hateful for Ken Macha to contemplate. And just the other day, Melhuse was spotted receiving instruction from Ron Washington on the finer points of playing first base, suggesting that Dan Johnson might should re-acquaint himself with the Sacramento area in advance of Milton Bradley’s return from the DL.

It’s a lot easier for Melhuse to do all of these things if you have Jeremy Brown riding the pine as the 25th man on the roster. That way, you can have a lineup with both Jason Kendall and Melhuse without having to worry about scrambling to fill positions the next time Kendall decides to exercise his Constitutional right to throttle pitchers who anger him.

By the way, if you’re wondering why baseball writers are unable to mention Brown without immediately adding paragraph after paragraph about his particular body type, consider this photo below that I took at spring training this past March.

Jeremy Brown is the fellow on the far left who resembles a green-and-gold fire plug. For comparison’s sake, the gent in his civvies second from the right is Frank Thomas.

When you make Frank Thomas look lean and mean, you should prepare yourself for a lifetime of having the word “husky” used in close proximity to your name.

Well... uh... It's nice to know that I don't have the worst body of any University of Alabama graduate. I think that the scouts may have had a point.

During one of the Spring Training games I saw a collection of pitchers and catchers congregating by the A's bullpen before the start of the game. As this group of players were about to leave, I think a few were headed to the minor league complex or some kind of split squad kind of thing. I noticed an incredibly large player. At first I thought to my self, "Damn, this guy is FAT!" And after a split second I was able to put two and two together and figure out that this guy is Jeremy Brown. I yelled "Hey Jeremy Brown!" and he turned and waved to me. I wish I had brought my copy of Moneyball, I would have loved his autograph.

A couple of years ago, we went to spring training and a husky lookin' #5 with no neck rambles up to the plate, and my wife asks, "Is John Jaha back with the A's?"

From where we were sitting, he was the spit 'n' image.

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