Idiots Write About Sports

It hit the 80s in Alameda today, which is warm, even for late July, as we are on the water. Of course, a mere hour inland in Modesto, temperatures topped 110 degrees. So everything’s relative.
Of course, there’s no minor league baseball team in Alameda, while there is one in Modesto. But still, even a hardcore baseball fan wouldn’t be stupid enough to trade 78 miles on the odometer and 30 degrees on the thermometer just to watch a Single-A baseball game. Not unless he was a total dope.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet a total dope:

You will notice there’s nobody sitting behind me at John Thurman Field. That is because:
1) No one else is stupid enough to come to a baseball game when the temperature at first pitch was 112 degrees.
2) The folks that were stupid enough liquified before I took this self-portrait.
Oh, and did I mention that today was a doubleheader? Someone has moved the earth far too close to the sun — let’s play two!
More from my day in the sun, just as soon as I stop making my own gravy.