Idiots Write About Sports

In our continuing effort to both recognize our commentors’ contributions as well as ridicule Eric Byrnes, we present aznemesis’ observation from this thred:

I finally had my first moment of anger with Eric Byrnes in the 8th inning. One out, two guys on, 2-0 count. He swings at a pitch out of the zone and hits into the double play. Throwing his helmet afterwards doesn’t help. It takes a lot to make Thom Brennaman sound exasperated with an Arizona player (he’s a total company guy), but even he couldn’t keep the irritation out of his voice.

Actually, fair credit to Byrnes: he did something that caused me to write “Byrnes does something smart!” in my scorebook, just so I could record the moment for posterity.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but at some point, I will irritate you. Oh yes, I shall!

It was the fourth inning, and he was on third with one out. Luis Gonzalez hit a ball to right that looked like it was going to drop for a single but could have just as easily hung up for Jay Payton to catch. Now, the Eric Byrnes that I know would have sprinted toward home hell-bent for leather, whether Payton caught the ball or not. And odds are, he probably would have missed the plate. But the newer, less-boneheaded version of Byrnes held up at third until he was certain the ball was going to drop — if it did, he scores easily, and if it doesn’t, he can still tag up for the sacrifice.

Well done, Byrnesie. I guess it took getting traded and kicked around from team to team to convince you that it was time to grow a brain.

Ah, but that double-play! Now that’s the Eric Byrnes I remember — free-swinging, rally-killing Eric Byrnes, scuttling someone else’s offense for a change.

Ah, but at least he hustled on that 6-4-3 twin-killing. That’s what matters, kids.

I thought you'd get a kick out of that.

It had to be a brutal weekend for the A's fans. Seeing Byrnesie act smart and getting swept. My heart goes out to you...kind of.

Btw, what's with the guy with the bongos who plays during the entire game? Is he a regular? I noticed him during the first game of the series, and it was actually kind of cool. It beats the hell out of listening to the defeanening PA system & obnoxious New Yorkers at Shea Stadium.

They've got a couple of drummers who sit out in left field. Back in the 2001-2002 days, they used to have a whole corps of drummers -- even made 'em part of the ad campaign. Some people like 'em, some people hate 'em. I think it makes us unique.

My favorite drummer-related bit of A's archania: Miguel Tejada did not have any selected music to accompany him to the plate for at bats. Rather, he preferred that the drummers just play a saucy beat that they composed for him. ("Ba-da-ba-bump Buh ba-da-ba-bump Buh ba-da-ba-bump-bump Tejada!")

My all time favorites were these two art school students who used to sit up in the third deck. One carried a giant cardboard cutout of a hammer. The other would carry a giant cardboard cutout representing whatever team the A's were playing that night. And when the other team batted, they would mimic the hammer coming down to crush the mascot of the other team. It was very, very weird.

The junior Brennaman once went on a tirade against Tony Womack for the exact same thing: A pitcher struggling to find the plate while holding onto a slim lead, with over-anxious batters helping him out by going after the first pitch. Thom was livid, even though his best-est buddy Bob Brenly was managing the team at the time.

The very next night, ol' Thom (the company guy) Brennaman issued an apology to Womack and the entire Diamondbacks organization for his 'unprofessional' comments.

So one thing we can say about Thom Brennaman -- he sure does hate it when you swing at the first pitch against a struggling pitcher.

That, and he's just awful.

Also, and I can't believe anyone hasn't noticed this yet -- what exactly is Byrnes trying to do in that picture I included? Because that doesn't appear to be a fundamentally sound method of bunting as far as I can tell.

I believe that putting your face directly behind the bat so that the slightest miscalculation will result in multiple skull fractures is the proper way to bunt "with hustle."

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