Idiots Write About Sports

Major League Baseball announces the All-Star Game rosters today, and when that happens, Nick Swisher is almost certain to be left out of the starting lineup, despite leading the A’s in nearly every relevant statistical category. Then again, Swisher was destined to be left out of the starting lineup, regardless of what season he had, the minute Major League Baseball omitted him fro the All-Star Ballot.

(It’s possible, perhaps even probable that Swisher will be named to the American League reserves. Or he could find himself squeezed out by the assortment of player ballot-mandated choices, required pity selections from the likes of Kansas City, and managerial picks [Think ‘Sox, White’]. The A’s figure to have only one representative in Pittsburgh, and Barry Zito is more of a name — not to mention a perfectly reasonable selection.)

After an exhaustive 10 minutes of research, I found that only two players ever won starting slots at the All Star game via the write-in option: Rico Carty in 1970 and Steve Garvey in 1974. Carty was leading the National League in hitting at the time of his selection, and Garvey was playing in one of the largest media markets in the country. Considering the last known write-in selection occcurred 32 years ago, the odds were long that Swisher was going to break on through.

And those odds didn’t improve any when Swisher spent most the season ping-ponging between left fielder and first base depending on Oakland’s needs at the time lineups needed to be turned in. Let’s pretend for a moment that there was a concentrated effort to get Swisher into the All Star Game — where do you write him in? Outfield? First base? Both? On the dozens of ballots I submitted in person and online, I opted for the outfield, but doubtlessly, my effort was cancelled out by an A’s fan who decided Swisher would be a perfectly reasonable option at first base. The A’s might have helped out with something above and beyond the team’s typical half-ass efforts — they produced a plethora of “Write In Swisher” placards that were handed out at home games, but failed to designate exactly which of his positions we should be writing him in for.

Will a write-in candidate ever be voted in to the All Star Game again? Probably. One day, there might be a fan with a sense of purpose, a stack of ballots, an awl, and a lot of time on his or her hands. But if it’s ever going to happen, I’d assume it would be on behalf of a player from either New York or Boston. Because if the voting totals as of last week hold up, your American League All-Star starters figure to be Your Favorite Red Sox and Yankees with special guest appearances by Ichiro Suzuki and Vladimir Guerrero.

In the past, this might have sent me into paroxysms of rage about the All-Powerful East Coast Hegemony and how it destroys everything it touches, even meaningless exhibition games. But looking over the prospective starters, I can’t really gripe. The catching position seems to be the only horrible choice, where Jason Varitek is going to get the start over the infinitely more deserving Joe Mauer. (Then again, Varitek’s selection prevents the spot from going to Ivan Rodriguez, who vaulted into second place thanks to fans who are still partying like its 1999.) I can’t claim to be thrilled at the prospect of Robinson Cano winning a starting slot, but I also can’t claim to find a second baseman in the American League who ought to play in his place. I guess some people will be aghast that David Ortiz will get the nod at first, a position he only plays during interleague games. But I can’t think of a player I’d rather watch than David Ortiz, particularly since it’s one of the few times I’ll be watching when his at bats won’t lead to the immediate destruction of the A’s. It’ll be nice to see Ortiz swing the bat without wincing.

There’s some interesting ballot analysis over at Bronx Banter and Baseball Musings (and one sentence blurbs on each pick ESPN’s collection of experts). But as part of our continuing mission to make as many wrong predictions in public as possible, here’s how I see the American League roster shaking down. I’ve picked 31 of the 32 roster spots (remember — there’s the ridiculous dog-and-pony show where the fans pick the last roster spot). I’m going to assume that Cano is too injured to play, so I’m adding another player to the roster in his stead. Starters are in italics.

Catcher

Jason Varitek, Boston
Joe Mauer, Minnesota

First Baseman

David Ortiz, Boston
Paul Knoerko, Chicago
Travis Hafner, Cleveland

Second Baseman

Robinson Cano, New York
Jose Lopez, Seattle
Mark Grudzielanek, Kansas City

Shortstop

Derek Jeter, New York
Miguel Tejada, Baltimore

Third Baseman

Alex Rodriguez, New York
Joe Crede, Chicago

Outfield

Manny Ramirez, Boston
Vladimir Guerrero, Anaheim
Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle
Vernon Wells, Toronto
Jermaine Dye, Chicago
Gary Matthews, Jr., Texas
Alex Rios, Toronto
Curtis Granderson, Detroit

Pitchers

Johan Santana, Minnesota
Roy Halladay, Toronto
Mike Mussina, New York
Justin Verlander, Detroit
Curt Schilling, Boston
Scott Kazmir, Tampa Bay
Barry Zito, Oakland
Jose Contreras, Chicago
Jonathan Papelbon, Boston
B.J. Ryan, Toronto
Mariano Rivera, New York
Joe Nathan, Minnesota

I went back and forth on Hafner and C.C. Sabathia as the lone Cleveland representative. Lopez is Cano’s injury replacement; Grudzielanek is Kansas City’s pity All Star. I really had to stretch to find a Ranger for the team — that surprised me. Giambi’s omission is almost entirely due to the numbers game and not because of my infantile disdain for him — almost.

And yes, after all that blather about Swisher, he’s not on my list, either.

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