Idiots Write About Sports

Walking to the Big Game, we passed by a bunch of hippies protesting the stadium development, which will require the cutting down of several oak trees.
Contrary to popular belief, I do not hate trees. Trees are beautiful. They generate shade, and oxygen, both of which I enjoy.
That said, the trees on the west side of Memorial Stadium need to go. They need to go so that the coaches and players of Cal’s athletic teams can get out of the rickety old stadium before it comes down on top of them. So that that stadium can then be repaired, to be safe and more comfortable for stadium patrons. And so that Cal can continue to have a successful athletics program and a successful football coach.
Which is why, as we passed the hippies, I provided a variation of a traditional big game chant.

Give ‘em the Axe, the Axe, the Axe!

Right in the trunk, the trunk, the trunk!

As is widely known, I do dislike hippies. Hippies are silly. They generate unpleasant smells and ridiculous controversies, neither of which I enjoy.